confession

so, i'm trying to write a paper over here and this, i'm sure, is just procrastination. also, it may not be altogether prudent to post this on a blog, but i just can't keep it in: i'm awkward when it comes to talking to professors. there it is. wish i could get over it, because i actually LOVE talking to them, and kind of thrive on communication with professors, yet i'm quite lame at it. is it that i can't think of anything to say? is it that i get nervous and then say stupid stuff and then obsess about all the stupid things i said later? is it that i'm secretly worried that i don't know enough cultural references to keep up with what they're talking about? is it that it kind of feels like one can't pry and ask the same questions of a prof that one can of a peer? perhaps. probably. i don't know. i can't get enough of it, though.