i feel like a failure

in so many ways. the great thing about this blog is that no one reads it. because i never post. so i can write whatever i want. my academic life is falling apart. i don't even know if it is what i want. or what i want. and i'm lazy. and i heard some great news today that made me feel absolutely worthless. i mean, what's wrong with me? what don't i have as a student? so depressing.