I'm having the tiniest little pity party over here right now and I feel like blogging (which, for me, is a sort of pretend talking things out--this blog is kind of like a sounding board/confidante i'm not convinced this is a good or healthy thing--my confidante isn't even a person?? isn't this what happens in wall-e?--but in this particular mood i just can't bring myself to care about or think about those implications too much. i suppose i could just talk about these things to myself out loud, but writing is sort of cathartic. also, now that i live alone, i am far too prone to talk to myself--today i complimented myself on dinner and then thanked myself for the compliment. somebody's got to do it and it may as well be me.) Anyhow, as I was saying, pity party, wanting to blog, blah blah blah, but I'm not sure exactly what I want to blog about (excuse the preposition).
so, some random things:
1. I wish I had made my chair more proud of me. I wish I were more worth being proud of, academically. My bad!
2. I'm freaking out about how much I can't do this dissertation.
3. As much as I'm freaking out, I DON'T want to do it. I am not in the mood.
4. I don't know how to do this--when did I lose that knowledge/ability?
Oh, this isn't making me feel better.
{this won't either, but I've got to get it out: i am a super unproductive reader, which paralyzes me in my reading, and then i'm not ready to write because my reading is so unproductive, so i'm a HUGE rut and i don't know how to get out!!--wow, that was surprisingly hard to write. my rut is so deep that i don't even want to face the rut itself. yikes.}
...
Ok! Operation feel better. Hmm.
Let's talk about happy things.
10 good things I did today:
1. I worked out. Yay!
2. I got my bike fixed and rode it. Yay!
3. I picked up eye glasses for a guy in my branch. Yay!
4. I cleaned my washer and started my laundry. Yay!
5. I met with President Kubik about my calling. Yay!
6. I made a tasty dinner. Yay!
7. I bought straws. Yay!
8. I cracked a library book. Yay!
9. I ate relatively healthfully. Yay!
10. I resisted going over my new tv watching limit. Yay!
Yay for happy things.
