critical theory

fills my soul with bitterness.

thoughts about grad school

To copy a previous post on Alexis's blog.

1. How does a person choose a secondary field? How do I know if I like a field because I like a field, or that I like a field because I like the professor who taught it?

2. What if gradschool/academics isn't my cup o' tea? Will that be clear at some point? Do I want to spend the rest of my life researching and teaching? If I don't, what do I want to do?

3. How does a person know if they want to teach at a research-ish school or a small liberal arts school? I've never been to a small liberal arts college. Maybe I would like it.

4. How does one go about publishing?

5. How are people so productive?

6. I like grad school. And I like the idea of studying and reading and writing all the time.

7. I love the south in the spring. Months of perfect 70-80 degree weather. Wow.

8. I'm happy. I also feel like I don't remember how to think or how to make arguments. I don't know the rules of the game anymore. What kind of arguments am I allowed to make? Or, what kind of arguments are makable? When did I forget that?

another miracle. and a really good time.

I managed to have a paper to present at pcaaca! And we had a phenomenal week. Brooke and I got there on Tuesday to eat sushi, make ourselves look dumb about coffee pots, watch American Idol, and write our papers. Sarah, Bethany and Kati joined us the next day. We had a great time walking around the city, getting blasted again for our papers, and hanging out with Cutchins and his adorable wife. Some photo highlighs:



Me, Brooke and Sarah at the Italian Restaurant for the BYU dinner.

San Fran in the park by the hotel. Gorgeous. We had beautiful weather the whole week.

a miracle

while unloading my groceries i managed to spray sprite zero all over my pants, the bushes and the side of my car. that takes something special.

teaching over the last week

We've been working on object analysis and things are going pretty well, actually. We started the paper on Wednesday and worked thesis statements on Friday. Friday's class went particularly well in my first period. We used one of the girls' object and observations of that object to come up with arguments about that object. I think they really began to see the social constructions behind things that they taked for granted. They really caught on to the idea of socially constructed gender norms. We talked about my brother being in Africa and the huge difference between what is "ok" in terms of physical affection between heterosexual people of the same gender in Africa and what is "ok" here. Anyhow, I'm happy with how that went. My 11:15 class was a little less into it and they're having a tough time getting beyond observations. We'll see how they do over the break.

Spring break here I come!

don't even worry

I have a plan. And it is to kick some USC trash! Go team.

This, of course, means changing some unproductive although gripping habits. No prob. Will do. Consider it kicked.

i feel like a failure

in so many ways. the great thing about this blog is that no one reads it. because i never post. so i can write whatever i want. my academic life is falling apart. i don't even know if it is what i want. or what i want. and i'm lazy. and i heard some great news today that made me feel absolutely worthless. i mean, what's wrong with me? what don't i have as a student? so depressing.

HP7

How far along is everyone? I know Joe and Mom have finished. Don and Amy? Rob and Ann? John (are you really going to wait?) and Wendy?

I'm about 100 from the end.

Harry Potter 7

I'm up to chapter 5 or so. A few questions.

No where else

Well, I've made a mess of things. I've got a thesis that I'm writing that should have been finished five weeks ago. That's fun. So now I'm in the library working on it, and struggling. Someday I'll be on top of my life enough so that I can take a break without feeling guilty.

miracle

if i finish what i need to finish by the time neet to i finish it, it will be a miracle.

silent sigh

So, here's a question. Why did I not do the things I needed to do over the weekend? Here's another question. What was I thinking?? For the love. Oh well, that means there will be lots of library time in my future. Thanksgiving break, by the way, was delightful, delicious, delectible. And if I could rewind, I still wouldn't do my homework.

We painted D and A's house. It looks fantastic. We had a little bit of a paint crisis, but it ended up great with oat and roast. I hate filbert. Blech.

letters revisited

Why is the internet such a pain in the batoosh? I got my other two packets to my letter writers today, and have been trying and trying to submit them as online recommenders, and EVERY website has been down! It's driving me crazy.

It feels great, though, to be on break. I ran into one of my students today, and I think we're both really happy that I cancelled class.

Now I need to start writing my statement of intent. I sort of know what I'm going to say, but it's all about getting started. I have writers fear. I'm planning on starting with my popculture story--where the lady told me to slow down, and then I got grilled at the end. It was SO funny!

changes

I suppose I should mention that since Wales is over I think I'll use the blog for more mundane posts. It seems a shame for all this great computer space to go to waste, so I plan to now post about more every day things...grad school, papers, teaching, school, things of that nature. So we may not get as many wild pictures (I'll see what I can do), but at least I'll have a vent spot.