beef

do you want to know what is the biggest scam ever? that laurie and jo don't end up together in little women and then laurie marries the brat amy!! talk about insult upon injury! total double whammie. sigh. i will never forgive l.m. alcott for that. it's wrong.



i realize that scam is perhaps not the best word for what i mean. except for that it is because it sounds so...grrrr, you know? scam!

decisions, decisions

Ok, so I'm trying to figure out what I should do for the summer. I'm hoping to work for the Institute of Reading, which is a corporation that offers literacy classes to all age groups over the summer. Teachers for the Institute travel all over their geographical area, teaching 4 or 5 out of 7 days of the week and days off are not necessarily consecutive. Also, my roomie and I are moving all of our stuff into storage of the summer, so we will be signing a new lease in the fall and will have to go through all the paper work and things that go with it.

Now, the question is, do I work in UT or SC?

pros for SC
*close contact with my dissertation chair
*the job ends before school starts
*I'm on location for moving into an apartment and signing and paying and all that jazz
*the beach
*grad friends

cons for SC
*definitely working at least some (possibly all) Sundays
*non-existent dating life


pros for UT
*family
*UT friends
*on location for NASSR conference
*possibility of dating

cons for UT
*ends after school starts--will probably miss the first day of the semester here in SC
*distance from diss chair
*not on location for move in thus:
*will make grueling three day drive and then have to immediately scramble into an apartment and start teaching etc. etc. etc.


side notes: sounds like Institute for Reading really eats up time, so I will not have tons of it for dating or dissertation. But it is really good money.

the serious things of life

So, here's the real question: who is my favorite Jane Austen hero?

I've thought about this quite a bit and the answer changes from time to time and it also depends on whether we're talking about the books or the films. And any way you slice it, it's a tough choice. However, I feel fairly confident that in the films, my favorite is this man:

Jeremy Northam's Mr. Knightley is the very best.


And honorable mention goes to:


Hugh Grant's Edward Ferrars has long been a favorite. I love his portrayal of the character.


And I don't care what anybody says, I've got a little crush on Alan Rickman's Colonel Brandon.


And I think these men are hot. However, that's not really the point here.





And of course I love Colin Firth. But again, not the question here.

the next one will be positive, promise!

do you ever want to quit your life? you look at the things you are doing, or should be doing and are avoiding, and think--why?? or--i don't even like this. do you ever lose every scrap of will power and motivation to do anything except lay on the ground and stare off into space with a vacant and uninterested mind? do you ever get to the point where nothing--not even fun things, like tv or going out to eat or shopping or watching a movie--is appealing?

some thoughts on progress; or, it's never too late.

So, two experiences that seem related from which I gleaned a useful lesson.

1. I came across some journal entries the other day from about 5 years ago--at the time, I was part way through my master's program, which made for an interesting contrast to now being part way through my PhD. It was fun to read about how I felt and to remember details that I haven't thought about in a while. I talked about weaknesses I had that I wanted to conquer. I was making goals (and failing and making more goals) to be better. It was a little bit depressing to realize that I am still making goals to overcome those particular issues and that I haven't made a lot of progress on those things in the last five years.

2. I've been a bit troubled lately and was having a really tough time articulating to myself what exactly was making me feel unsettled. Even in prayer I felt at a loss in expressing how I felt and why I felt that way. And anything I did manage to articulate was as troubling and frustrating as the trouble itself. I didn't know how I was going to find articulation, much less how I was going to deal with whatever it was that was bothering me. Several days/weeks into this vague bother my mom called me and we ended up talking through and exploring how I felt and I ended up finding peace and resolution and resolve to do good things. As I think about this, I really feel (and felt) that the Lord was answering my unarticulated longings and the cries of my heart. I felt/feel like God heard my unsaid prayer and sent me answers and help.

And that experience helped me to feel and see that it's never too late to be better and do better. Just as the Lord sent me answers to that unsaid worry, He will send me help and answers in this aspect of my life, too. And even though I'm still struggling with the same things I struggled with five years ago, and even though I had hoped to be strong today in the places where I was weak, and even though I could have done more then to be strong in those areas now, that doesn't mean game over. I can start again. I feel like I was being taught that God helps us, me, even when I'm a slacker and even when I'm late. Because with God it's never too late.